What’s Up with the Air…

So, Apple’s Air laptop has been out for a few weeks now.  Already, people are split on how great (or not so great) the thing really is.  Some people say that the Air is the greatest thing since the invention of the Donkey Show.  Others, however, make the claim that the Apple Air is pretty to look at, but lacks the power and features needed to make it an effective tool for most people.  After pouring over the data, here is my analysis; The Apple Air is an amazingly cool piece of tech, but for hardcore business people and tech junkies, you may want to either look elsewhere or wait for a newer, more powerful version to come out.

Now, I know that in some circles, saying anything other than “IT’S AMAZING!” about apple products is a sin.  Yes, all of you Mac Cultists, I’m talking to you.  Steve Balmer could shit in a box and you would pay $1500 for it, after waiting in line for the chance to buy it, and be happy.  However, just put down your torches and hate-sticks for a minute and keep reading.  Okay?  Okay.

As reported by Gizmodo.com, the Apple Air’s standard 1.68ghz Intel chip makes the Air the slowest Mac Laptop of them all.  It’s also one of the more expensive laptops out there, as well.  What this means is that anyone who makes the decision to buy this thing is going to be paying a premium price for a much less-than-premium computer.  Simply put, you are substituting processing power and utility for cool points and portability.

Engadget.com goes on to point out even more design flaws with the Apple Air.  For starters, the Air only has one, very well hidden and hard to reach, USB port.  Because of it’s location, you will only be able to plug in the slimmest of USB connections.  Anything that is even remotely bulky simply won’t fit into the slot.  Also, there is no ethernet port, no express card slot, and no integrated 3G capability.  If you wanna get the Internet on this thing, you’ll have to rely on WiFi.  And, sadly, there is no built in optical drive of any sort.  You could always buy the optional, external drive, but then all that portability that you paid for has been wasted.

But, not wanting to sound too negative, the Apple Air does have its upsides, all of which should be obvious.  The biggest selling point is the fact that it is one of the lightest, thinnest laptops ever produced.  This alone makes it all sorts of desirable to many people, many of whom have suffered some sort of back injury lugging around their brick of a “laptop” over the years.  Also, while the 1.6ghz chip isn’t the fastest thing around, it is good enough for most tasks, like web browsing, word processing, email, and editing homemade sex videos.  Finally, it comes standard with both “hipster” and “cool” points.  Anyone toting one of these things around will probably also have a crowd of stunned onlookers in tow, weeping in disbelief and begging to touch the Apple Air owner’s feet.

So, in general, I would say that unless you really need something lightweight and slim and can do without top-end performance and utility, the Apple Air is not what you’re looking for.  Yes, the thing is cool as hell.  Yes, it has lots of neat features.  However, in terms of performance, it’s just lacking too much to make it the primary machine for a lot of users.  And, with the $1799 price tag, it’s not cheap enough to be your secondary one, either.

-Sanity, PhD
doctorsanity@sockpuppetsfromhell.com
www.SockPuppetsFromHell.com